IGNORANCE IS BLISS

season 6
episode 8
house

• ...an exceptionally brilliant physicist (IQ 178) who traded his successful career for a job as a courier to be with his intellectually inferior wife (IQ 87). 
• ....For the ailing patient, intelligence is a miserable burden that alienates him from others. 
• ....that a depression as a teenager due to his loneliness as a child prodigy led him to attempt suicide
• ...addiction to DXM (mixed with alcohol to prevent brain damage), which he used to reduce his intellect. 
• ..."lobotomize Einstein" by giving him back his meds, as the patient wishes to be dumb and happy rather than smart and miserable
• Taub has problems with his wife, because she thinks that even at the age of 40 he's still doing an intern's job, instead of having his own private practice. Taub convinces her that he confronted House for keeping him from Thanksgiving dinner by showing her a picture of House's beaten-up face (by Chase), claiming he was responsible, which soothes her.

---FROM WIKIPEDIA

Don't know why . . . but feels so like me . . . 

GUILT

In the sea of patients that we manage to "see" every day , some come back to haunt.

Recently I have made a few bad calls while dealing with patients.

Although I would like to shrug this off as having to work too much or being overloaded with work or just being too touchy about it , I know that it should never have happened in the first place.

I should have been more courteous and careful in dealing with them.

While in ER , last week a guy was lying in the pre-op waiting for his turn for the operation. He had been having a pain in his right illiac fossa for three days and was to undergo a appendectomy. He kept complaining of pain although he had already been given pain-killers. His wife was sitting with him on the bed. She kept hassling the staff and junior doctors about them not being given any treatment and so forth...( Common sights in an under-developed country like ours)

I don't know why but I just asked her to get out of there and if she didn't , I'd send his hubby out of the OT. She became quiet and didn't say a word but the poor guy kept complaining of pain. As I kept my hand on his abdomen , I understood the reason for his agony. He probably had an appendix which had perforated a couple of days back. He was given NSAIDs and narcotics but still his pain wouldn't go away.

Imagine my guilt when I had to explain to his wife post-operatively that he had a perforated gangrenous appendix which almost involved the caecum. Next day when I went to see the patient he only said that had we operated earlier his appendix wouldn't have perforated.

Had I not talked so badly to them , I wouldn't be blaming my self...

( his appendix had perforated even before he landed in the ER)


Last night I went to the ER lab where I happened to meet an old lab technician who had brought a patient to the ER a few weeks back. I was just getting free from a hectic 36 hour call.

She had chronic liver disease, diabetes , hypertension and had now developed cellulitis.I just took a brief look at her and "ordered" them to go to the dresser and just get a dressing.

Yesterday he told me that she died a few days later and how I would have to face her in the next world. . .

H E A D A C H E

Its strange … how one’s mind is slowly destroyed.

The human nature is strange. We have an appetite for more and more. We are never satisfied. No matter how much we have , we are never thankful.I now understand and know this through my personal experience. Am 29 and have got so much but am so greedy . I want more and more. More money , bigger house, better job , less work , less tension , more degrees. I am no better than my fellow man whom I like to criticize so much.

I don’t know if I am a coward or if it’s something that’s wrong with my head. All day I sit and have to listen to tales of how so and so got such a good job , got a promotion by using connection , by presenting fake publication and so on. All day I listen to tales of the rich getting richer and the poor in a never ending struggle to get rich. Lies , deceit and corruption all around me . All day people pretend to be busy and hardworking to please their bosses while being lazy and inefficient.

 I don’t know why I can’t do the same. . .

SURGEON YOUR PATIENT IS DEAD !

Its a saying that is often said when faced with pancreatitis.

Not the patients managed conservatively but rather the ones that get opened up either by mistake or due to inexperienced surgeons.

But when someone does it for no good reason?

For almost a month the poor old man has been on a ventilator in the ICU.

He had presented with abdominal pain and his amylase was raised though not markedly but still enough to merit ruling out the threat of pancreatitis.

He walked to the operation theathre as he didn't want to be wheeled in ( something very common here).

Onto the table he went with a smile and on his own.

But then chalky white deposits all over in the abdomen and a grossly swollen and edematous pancreas left nothing to be done but to close him up.

He went straight to the ICU and has been there ever since. . .

Why was he opened? Something that I don't know I think correctly about ...

their desire to get free early ? and my failure to speak up ....

WHY ?

As I see the past meeting the present and the present meeting the future I often wonder why ?

Why is it that people have to be so mean ? When there is so much for everyone why do we have to fight with each other?

No one is going to take his treasures or pleasures with him to the next world , so why do we horde things?

Why we all cannot be pleasant and be nice to each other ?


I am afraid of what I am .
I don't fit in.
I don't like to be mean to others or pull others down just so I can act like a big shot.
I don't know why I feel bad when I see people doing it.
Although sometimes I think that the only way ahead is this and in a way I will fail to progress because I cannot be a bad-ass. Am too much of Mr. Nice and Honest.

Hard work ? Really in today's day and age?
In the country I live in ?


I must be crazy to think I will ever matter. . .