Monday, August 13, 2012
Part I here.
I Still haven't answer this question.
I don't have the answer myself.
Maybe she is just being nice?
Maybe I am reading too much into a simple situation.
Or maybe I am so lonely am grabbing at any chance of human interaction ?
No one in their right mind could be interested in me ?
Could they ? ? ?
As I sat there in the corner on the floor in the Operating theater long after the list had ended I couldn't help but wondering : did anyone care about me?
They all knew I was sick. Yet I continued to toil making sure the cases got done.
I had been good to them, always caring for them when the need arose but no one even asked how I felt.
As I sat there coughing my lungs out I realized that all of them had left. The janitors broom came in sweeping the dust away. He didn't give much thought to the surgeon slumped down on the floor.
And you left too ? I thought you would have stayed to ask me what had happened or at least to come away now. At least you were the last to leave and bid me farewell.
And there I sat with my head between by legs , wondering if you were the one?
I am crazy . . .
Even though I pretend to ignore her , I just cannot help by staring at her through the corners of my eyes.
Why does she look sad , why does she like to be lonely ?
Why am I so concerned about her?
When she smiles , though she smiles rarely , she makes my heart filled with joy.
She ain't some angel sent down from heaven. She ain't drop dead gorgeous or drop dead genius.
No reason why I should like her. But I just feel so lonely without her.
How much longer can I deny it?
How much longer can I lie to myself?
But is it wrong? She is my colleague and junior. Am I taking advantage of my position?
Will she able to express herself properly or will she be intimidated by my position?
How long can I deny that I have gotten into one fine mess.
I am afraid to think what would happen if I lose her but in all probability that is how its going to end up!