tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73872796205364740282024-03-14T13:51:56.539+05:00Rumblings of a Lost SoulLOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.comBlogger146125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-60182866950614343102016-09-21T19:24:00.002+05:002016-09-21T19:24:37.958+05:00Almost overFor years , I have held on to false hope.<br />
<br />
Held on because I was unwilling to let it end.<br />
<br />
I have been pushed to the extremes now.<br />
<br />
I have been devastated mentally , physically , emotionally and financially.<br />
<br />
I am having a very hard time holding on.<br />
<br />
I just wish Allah would show me a way out ...<br />
<br />
<br />LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-16158396648689901512016-07-07T12:22:00.000+05:002016-07-07T12:22:33.364+05:00BACK TO DARKNESS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-637pB4CQaiI/V34CyJs4I6I/AAAAAAAAAcw/RWJP70pv5mgLpAxKB53tHOG_epTvrJkAwCLcB/s1600/images%2B%252822%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-637pB4CQaiI/V34CyJs4I6I/AAAAAAAAAcw/RWJP70pv5mgLpAxKB53tHOG_epTvrJkAwCLcB/s1600/images%2B%252822%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
I am like a wandering soul in darkness. The guardian angel in darkness. Anyone who seems to be falling into depression and despair happens to bump into me. When the world is unaware of their plight and least bothered in them they find support from me. As they move back to the light , they all seem to forget the one who helped them in their darkest hour. So here I remain in the dark waiting to help the soul after soul who fall in despair , yet never finding anyone who'd pull me out too.<br />
<br />
Perhaps this is my greatest gift. Perhaps this is my greatest curse...LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-67776133537213787382016-05-28T18:16:00.003+05:002016-05-29T14:40:01.905+05:00LYING BASTARD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U1lkngX4wsM/V0q4f2H6XEI/AAAAAAAAAcY/b2bZpd6EMac1lXujOdOG-Oi8Ynkz_Eo6gCLcB/s1600/Depression%2Bis%2Ba%2Blying%2Bbastard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U1lkngX4wsM/V0q4f2H6XEI/AAAAAAAAAcY/b2bZpd6EMac1lXujOdOG-Oi8Ynkz_Eo6gCLcB/s320/Depression%2Bis%2Ba%2Blying%2Bbastard.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
She has been asking me for days...<br />
<br />
I still cannot figure out why but I think she really wants me to come...<br />
<br />
I am stupid , yes I know...<br />
<br />
I am not supposed to get involved with someone from work.<br />
<br />
I am not supposed to get involved in some junior colleague.<br />
<br />
I am married , and am not supposed to be taking interest in single girls.<br />
<br />
Yet<br />
<br />
I am stupid enough to have committed all three mistakes at the same time...<br />
<br />
Its not that I am having an affair , its just a very odd friendship.<br />
<br />
A friendship which now will slowly die<br />
<br />
Because she has chosen another speciality and well in a couple of months she will but have forgot about the people and assholes she met here.<br />
<br />
It is supposed to be the farewell. And I am supposed to attend.<br />
<br />
Yet I lie to her , and to myself as I lie to everyone else to find a reason not to go...<br />
<br />
I am not going on any trip...<br />
<br />
but I don't have the courage ..<br />
<br />
the courage to tell her ...<br />
<br />
that I am BROKE...<br />
<br />
I am broke financially<br />
I am broke emotionally<br />
I am broke physically<br />
I am broke mentally<br />
<br />
and<br />
<br />
I am a lying bastard...LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-77908859705064866382016-04-06T23:07:00.001+05:002016-04-06T23:07:05.857+05:00IDIOT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e2RsE7E6sMs/VwVQNU0rN1I/AAAAAAAAAcE/5OdthrvugwYUCAcl-cB_vuCGbn6z7jqaw/s1600/idiot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e2RsE7E6sMs/VwVQNU0rN1I/AAAAAAAAAcE/5OdthrvugwYUCAcl-cB_vuCGbn6z7jqaw/s400/idiot.jpg" width="277" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I am not sure what to think of myself. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Whether I am an idiot or a lonely heart or just deep down a ridiculously big flirt. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">It is strange but I usually don't talk much to the people of the opposite gender. But once every few years I find interest in a person whom I am in-resistibly attracted to often with extremely disappointing results.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">It happened now once again and I find myself in a silly situation where my heart and my mind seem to be pulling me in opposite directions. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">What can I do now?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">She once hinted her interest in me ... but my confusion led me to think and think and think about her but not do anything about it...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Now she told me although indirectly that she is no longer interested in me.....</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and it really breaks my heart and makes me feel sad...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Am not sure why ?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Was I horny ? Am I lonely ? Was it just a crush ? Was it something else?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Am I so over-worked or am I just using this as an excuse?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I have no idea ...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Am seriously and totally devastated by this turn of events and I hate myself for once again allowing myself to be drawn in by someone from the opposite gender...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">There can be no friendship between a man and a woman....sadly</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-77919236206623072272016-03-27T14:05:00.004+05:002016-03-27T14:05:29.770+05:00S H A R K <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fQA3tF80jHk/VveiHwAxHII/AAAAAAAAAbw/Dkjkuj__qhkzIsyRUDJPgcUoLhJzn1kxg/s1600/6v7_Shark_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fQA3tF80jHk/VveiHwAxHII/AAAAAAAAAbw/Dkjkuj__qhkzIsyRUDJPgcUoLhJzn1kxg/s320/6v7_Shark_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">At a recent conference of great surgeons of this country which had gathered together HE gave a lecture about teams... and it is then when finally after years of hard-work and depression I finally realized why I could never be the one he likes.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">He is looking for Sharks.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"></span></div>
<br />
<br />LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-27736193903547917152016-03-11T16:03:00.000+05:002016-03-13T16:04:03.261+05:00IMPRESSED<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ICVyKY7Om40/VuVI8zcnaSI/AAAAAAAAAbc/ZTZJJWD20-kAw-tuOiV37SOktdQdqlK3A/s1600/60665362.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ICVyKY7Om40/VuVI8zcnaSI/AAAAAAAAAbc/ZTZJJWD20-kAw-tuOiV37SOktdQdqlK3A/s1600/60665362.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I must say<br />
<br />
I didn't believe it could have been<br />
<br />
But it happened...<br />
<br />
... although not exactly what I was thinking<br />
<br />
but still its not bad<br />
<br />
If someone thinks of me as a "GENTLEMAN" and "PYAREY"LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-26071563838147964552016-03-09T21:03:00.000+05:002016-03-09T21:03:57.303+05:00IDIOT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iQeNVOWYIUY/VuBIxMt23VI/AAAAAAAAAbI/GoL3u-Y-J_U/s1600/idiot.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iQeNVOWYIUY/VuBIxMt23VI/AAAAAAAAAbI/GoL3u-Y-J_U/s400/idiot.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For weeks I have acted like a complete idiot.<br />
<br />
She's made me act like an idiot.<br />
<br />
And I guess I got what I deserved.<br />
<br />
I found out she talking to everyone and being frank with everyone.<br />
<br />
There is nothing "special" between us.<br />
<br />
Am just acting like a middle aged lonely idiot.<br />
<br />
Today she completely ignored me.<br />
<br />
I guess I deserve all I got. I was acting like an idiot. Why the hell anyone would be interested in me?<br />
<br />
Back to the lonely depressed world where I belong...LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-21873298582940628762016-02-20T23:30:00.000+05:002016-02-21T01:08:10.621+05:00THE BREAKUP<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZcxJbvDLTfE/VsjFbrad8-I/AAAAAAAAAa0/B0vIzy6jgz0/s1600/1234354.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZcxJbvDLTfE/VsjFbrad8-I/AAAAAAAAAa0/B0vIzy6jgz0/s400/1234354.png" width="355" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I went out and forgot to take my phone with me...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Came back and saw her sitting there ... the look on her face... she had found out her man was having an affair!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It had been a few days ... I noticed her sitting and quietly observing me while I had been texting ... Hell she had noted my code and had unlocked my cell while I was away...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">... she had read it all... and she was mad...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It was not that I am having an affair... not even sexting ... just simple messages... but my argument that I was extremely lonely ...I guess really had no chance...my texts to a junior colleague were under scrutiny... nothing but flirting and lust ... I stand accused...in the society that we live in such relationships have no name... and are often looked upon with dirty intentions...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She got family and friends... am left with not a single soul... yet she is not willing to understand this...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-45493982485742341932016-02-20T12:30:00.000+05:002016-02-20T12:30:29.140+05:00NO HELP POLICY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NSehx-t3IrY/VsgV4hm0JhI/AAAAAAAAAag/1JUrX34OTuM/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NSehx-t3IrY/VsgV4hm0JhI/AAAAAAAAAag/1JUrX34OTuM/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Because we work in a system , where merit means nothing and one must have money or SIFARISH ( </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a term for a bribe based on money , political or otherwise family or organizational backing</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">) it comes as no surprise that the doctors are often running from pillar to post to get some... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Partly its our own fault since we all love to be at the place where we like to work. Promotions and postings can be achieved by those well connected.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and for the less fortunate it brings often misery.... mental anguish and emotional suffering at seeing those below them coming and sitting on their heads just because of this... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">turns out HE too tends to have a no help policy... kind of sad when you consider that we work day and night for him ...and it is within his power to help each and everyone of us... yet he does nothing...</span></div>
LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-45248434758422555892016-02-15T10:39:00.002+05:002016-02-15T10:39:24.062+05:00D U M B<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7uXTJpKIc4U/VsFkdgWa-NI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/BmvwvjKftMc/s1600/stupid_genius.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7uXTJpKIc4U/VsFkdgWa-NI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/BmvwvjKftMc/s1600/stupid_genius.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-42189623149653958302016-02-12T10:30:00.000+05:002016-02-15T10:31:15.576+05:00re CONTACT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KeDXanXnrWk/VsFhjR7YdqI/AAAAAAAAAZo/SUmAQt_5lRk/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KeDXanXnrWk/VsFhjR7YdqI/AAAAAAAAAZo/SUmAQt_5lRk/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
So I had a crush ...<br />
Am human...<br />
I got desires...<br />
But I keep them in check...<br />
<br />
Reality check ....<br />
<br />
Am living a very difficult and hard life<br />
am strange and complicated<br />
am not exactly the material girl's dreams are made of<br />
most of the people in my life are angry / upset/ sad with me<br />
so I don't think I should even think of making anyone suffer any of this by coming close to me<br />
<br />
so I finally convince my self to get over her<br />
and I just shut my mouth<br />
and make absolutely no contact<br />
but then<br />
she makes contact<br />
<br />LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-81960275506891564332016-02-04T21:17:00.000+05:002016-02-04T22:32:29.979+05:00CRUSH STORY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OMj5rzyvIaE/VrN5YSUMRBI/AAAAAAAAAZA/NlnBdmCMU5o/s1600/images%2B%252834%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OMj5rzyvIaE/VrN5YSUMRBI/AAAAAAAAAZA/NlnBdmCMU5o/s320/images%2B%252834%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
30th Nov<br />
notice her for the first time<br />
1st Dec<br />
saw her looking cool in canteen<br />
9th Dec<br />
meet her friend at the door of the ward. an ex-internee and 'think' that see her unable to take her eyes off my face and her lovely smile<br />
17th Dec,19th & 21st Dec<br />
unable to take my eye off her<br />
28th Dec<br />
snap a few secret pics<br />
30th Dec<br />
she does something ... comes and sit exactly across me... looks at me ... smiles ... looks at her friend ... smiles... (atleast thats what I think)<br />
5th Jan<br />
ask another internee for her no. msg her.<br />
somewhere between 5th and 20th jan<br />
'mistakenly' send her msgs and she also responds<br />
21st jan & 22nd Jan<br />
take initiative and joke with her on chat<br />
27th & 28th Jan<br />
talk a lot on chat... feel real good...<br />
asks a favour<br />
she comes and sit right besides me ... almost touching me... place a can of soft drink in between us... she repeatedly touches it as if to move it... am confused.... think it is all in my mind... try best to ignore it ...(sadly)<br />
30th Jan<br />
fulfil the favour<br />
31st Jan<br />
she sends thankyou msg<br />
night of 1st & 2nd feb<br />
'mistakenly' send her a text<br />
talk for hours<br />
frankly and freely<br />
shares her birthdate<br />
but by end suddenely mood changes ... like she suddenely wants to back off<br />
3rd Feb<br />
sends a message<br />
indirectly telling to back off<br />
<br />
now I sit and wonder<br />
what the hell did I do?<br />
what the hell just happened?<br />
what the hell was I thinking?<br />
was it something real or just something fucked up my mind imagined ?<br />
now I sit broken for no reason<br />
sad & depressed<br />
promising myself never to open up to anyone again ...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-50669333222927906892016-02-01T15:14:00.000+05:002016-02-01T15:14:39.885+05:00Heart vs Mind<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I cannot imagine the silly things the so called LOVE makes us do. . .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It cannot be LOVE.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Not again ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">not her ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">whats wrong with me ?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The sane part of my mind says its nothing... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">... its just the fact that am so much over worked and understress and lonely all the time that the fact that a human could be insterested even a bit in me has made my heart bonkers...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">too bad ... cause today all day I sit near her and she doesn't even look towards me... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Guess the mind is right and the heart is wrong </span>LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-14725612643717057512016-01-31T10:22:00.001+05:002016-01-31T10:22:25.989+05:00NOT AGAIN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kP4_KLcXTQQ/Vq2Z0OufJwI/AAAAAAAAAYo/rPdbDIrDbfE/s1600/oh%2Bnot%2Bagain.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kP4_KLcXTQQ/Vq2Z0OufJwI/AAAAAAAAAYo/rPdbDIrDbfE/s1600/oh%2Bnot%2Bagain.png" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i cannot look directly at her </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and eye contact is hell</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">its like it is burning into my soul</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she is in no way a physical match for me </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">yet i love her smile and the way she moves</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i love the way she talks</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i so want to talk to her but i keep myself away</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">maybe its my mind playing games with me but i feel that she feels the same way too </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the thought that she will be leaving in a week scares me and makes my heart sink</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i just want time to freeze</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i make so much effort to spend time around her</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">yet i force myself to stay away</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">what the hell this is not supposed to happen...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i have already found the one !</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">how can this be ?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">what the hell.....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-53363344709833699332016-01-31T10:13:00.001+05:002016-01-31T10:13:52.073+05:00SELFISH LOVE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kqQySZjMZIg/Vq2X_5IzG1I/AAAAAAAAAYc/5cbhrTSGbtQ/s1600/selfish%2Blove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kqQySZjMZIg/Vq2X_5IzG1I/AAAAAAAAAYc/5cbhrTSGbtQ/s320/selfish%2Blove.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i don't know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">maybe it is something wrong with me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but i find that most people are selfish.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">very selfish.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">so selfish that when they love it is also selfish.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">everyone wants to love so that they can be happy...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">no one cares about the object of their desires... if it makes them happy or not?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">if its love should it not make both people happy ?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">how can you restrict the other person and expect them to conform to your desires to show your love?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i don't know. maybe its just me. but if you really love someone you should do everything to make that person happy....not to keep yourself happy...</span>LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-15198267803460689952015-11-30T16:37:00.002+05:002015-11-30T16:37:58.333+05:00A P P R E C I A T I O N<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kd8cNZ9aAAg/Vlw08l4VDLI/AAAAAAAAAX4/PaNFfvAFhSI/s1600/appreciate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kd8cNZ9aAAg/Vlw08l4VDLI/AAAAAAAAAX4/PaNFfvAFhSI/s320/appreciate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I wonder what it is that I have to do to please him.<br />
<br />
I do each and everything that he asks and yet he hardly appreciates my efforts.<br />
<br />
He can see so much potential in the residents but not in me. . .LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-65423011573421948542015-09-06T19:15:00.002+05:002015-09-06T19:15:24.850+05:00C R U E L<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fXEWz_F6sIw/VexJpKn358I/AAAAAAAAAXo/70-htcdtgQY/s1600/cruel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fXEWz_F6sIw/VexJpKn358I/AAAAAAAAAXo/70-htcdtgQY/s400/cruel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Hmm...<br />
<br />
The most cruel thing in this world is us.<br />
<br />
We , the humans.<br />
<br />
We kill and brutalize without any reason.<br />
<br />
We are cruel to our fellow humans, to other species and to the world in general!<br />
<br />
<br />
What did God think to make us ?LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-58468902924796432402015-07-20T12:31:00.001+05:002015-07-20T12:31:05.948+05:00R E A L I Z A T I O N <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_7Ng0-p-_X4/VayjjCDhLeI/AAAAAAAAAXU/WjkYDN52uVg/s1600/e93854a773f4c660714aee4af84ce690.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_7Ng0-p-_X4/VayjjCDhLeI/AAAAAAAAAXU/WjkYDN52uVg/s320/e93854a773f4c660714aee4af84ce690.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For a long time I thought they didn't come because they were busy and it was a long long way from home. Even though I had sent transportation.<br />
<br />
Now I realize they didn't come because they just didn't want to come . . .<br />
<br />
They didn't care enough to come . . .LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-30785689848308588722015-05-23T16:47:00.000+05:002015-05-23T16:47:53.670+05:00feeling blessedIts been years but today finally felt appreciated for all the hard work of the past decade.<br />
<br />
Made me think how far we have come along.<br />
<br />
Also made me realize how time flies and nothing matters much in a couple of years.<br />
<br />
And the future is wide open. The battle is not over, its just begun...LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-89690460942167267702015-05-23T16:23:00.001+05:002015-05-23T16:24:20.998+05:00CRUEL TIME<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WaUxlNQ29a4/VWBjGai_BRI/AAAAAAAAAXE/GFlgQg5D1Bo/s1600/asr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WaUxlNQ29a4/VWBjGai_BRI/AAAAAAAAAXE/GFlgQg5D1Bo/s400/asr.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Today more than ever before , I understand this and felt this. . .LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-50097377045086016942015-05-04T19:12:00.001+05:002015-05-04T19:13:06.050+05:00Regrets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bm8327kPnOY/VUd9Xf9Z5rI/AAAAAAAAAW0/WrTNRaiiJWY/s1600/Quotation-H-Jackson-Brown-Jr--opportunity-Meetville-Quotes-141882.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bm8327kPnOY/VUd9Xf9Z5rI/AAAAAAAAAW0/WrTNRaiiJWY/s320/Quotation-H-Jackson-Brown-Jr--opportunity-Meetville-Quotes-141882.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I see him talking in his ear , I sometimes wonder if that could have been me?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Years back , before he even joined an event happened which resulted in most of the people in the ward being suspended. It was the start of my residency. It presented a unique opportunity, for I over night became the senior most resident. I just became his right hand man. The go to guy. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I guess I was immature or rather scared of the responsibilities.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And today I just sit and stare at them and wonder what if I had held on ?</span></div>
LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-22794240963795258522015-04-28T19:04:00.000+05:002015-05-04T19:07:44.610+05:00Missed opportunities<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-45sA3lOjQJg/VUd8RcyTO_I/AAAAAAAAAWs/M3lKDbuPxHA/s1600/quote-life-s-missed-opportunities-at-the-end-may-seem-more-poignant-to-us-than-those-we-embraced-roger-ebert-226216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-45sA3lOjQJg/VUd8RcyTO_I/AAAAAAAAAWs/M3lKDbuPxHA/s320/quote-life-s-missed-opportunities-at-the-end-may-seem-more-poignant-to-us-than-those-we-embraced-roger-ebert-226216.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today I had the opportunity to abandon my "learning and skills gaining life sucking job" for a much easier more paying but rather dead end non-learning job.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I wonder if I made the right choice by sticking with my current job.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hope I don't live to regret my decision...</span>LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-38277547863586229952015-04-13T19:13:00.003+05:002015-04-13T19:13:58.093+05:00Favouritism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qYMroTGkc1Q/VSvNqAclOII/AAAAAAAAAWA/f1zxPtUo_NA/s1600/parental-favouritism-378x414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qYMroTGkc1Q/VSvNqAclOII/AAAAAAAAAWA/f1zxPtUo_NA/s1600/parental-favouritism-378x414.jpg" height="400" width="363" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I always believed that the key to success was hard-work,honesty, punctuality and courtesy.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Boy o Boy!</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Was I wrong!!!</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Turns out its nothing more than kissing ass! The better you can do it the higher you'll go.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Today as I sat in a corner and saw the ass kissing going on and the return favoritism being handed out I realized that whether I like it or not , am never going to be able to be a ass-kisser. My parents were either stupid or they did me a great favor. Only thing I'll get reward of favor once dead.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I must realize and accept that I shall not be able to progress upwards in this ass kissing society and I must chose accept this fate and just work my ass off</span></b>.</div>
LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-73136828583893236192015-03-23T16:54:00.003+05:002015-03-23T16:54:33.404+05:00Something called Life<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have often wondered as to why exactly we are born.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have failed to find any satisfactory answer to it. I fail to understand the purpose of us being here. In the end , we are all to die. Wealth , fame , money , acts , deeds... nothing will go on with us. Nothing will stay behind for ever. So why are we all running after them ?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This brings me to a very dangerous proposition. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If we all are supposed to die , then whats the point of living?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7387279620536474028.post-43766731408862574472015-03-16T23:08:00.001+05:002015-03-16T23:08:18.408+05:00Masterly Inactivity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pjR-ecO2jxg/VQcYzCei64I/AAAAAAAAAVw/1UUfKYiw9hY/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pjR-ecO2jxg/VQcYzCei64I/AAAAAAAAAVw/1UUfKYiw9hY/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
He came in around 4 pm in the afternoon. His wife and son came in with him. An old chap. In his 70's. He held his foot and was in an obvious agony. He had developed sudden pain in his foot in the morning and it had become numb and cold as he put it. It was turning a greyish colour by the time he came in and it was ice cold.<br />
<br />
His popliteal pulses were present and good. As per our routine he wasn't candidate for exploration. However attempted to send him to vascular surgeon in an attempt to save his foot. However , the vascular guys also thought the same as us and sent him back,<br />
<br />
With nothing more to do , he was put on heparin and anti-coagulation and painkillers to wait for the eventual amputation. He was admitted for the foot to turn black and smelly before we could chop it off.<br />
<br />
But he improved dramatically. By next morning his pain was gone. His foot was warm. His foot was pink. The blackening colour gone.<br />
<br />
Hmmmmmm<br />
<br />
Every time he sees me now, he thanks me. Thanks me for saving his foot.<br />
<br />
And I feel embarrassed and ashamed for we were just being masterly inactive...LOST SOULhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14069508760478026492noreply@blogger.com0