Thursday, February 4, 2016
notice her for the first time
saw her looking cool in canteen
meet her friend at the door of the ward. an ex-internee and 'think' that see her unable to take her eyes off my face and her lovely smile
17th Dec,19th & 21st Dec
unable to take my eye off her
snap a few secret pics
she does something ... comes and sit exactly across me... looks at me ... smiles ... looks at her friend ... smiles... (atleast thats what I think)
ask another internee for her no. msg her.
somewhere between 5th and 20th jan
'mistakenly' send her msgs and she also responds
21st jan & 22nd Jan
take initiative and joke with her on chat
27th & 28th Jan
talk a lot on chat... feel real good...
asks a favour
she comes and sit right besides me ... almost touching me... place a can of soft drink in between us... she repeatedly touches it as if to move it... am confused.... think it is all in my mind... try best to ignore it ...(sadly)
fulfil the favour
she sends thankyou msg
night of 1st & 2nd feb
'mistakenly' send her a text
talk for hours
frankly and freely
shares her birthdate
but by end suddenely mood changes ... like she suddenely wants to back off
sends a message
indirectly telling to back off
now I sit and wonder
what the hell did I do?
what the hell just happened?
what the hell was I thinking?
was it something real or just something fucked up my mind imagined ?
now I sit broken for no reason
sad & depressed
promising myself never to open up to anyone again ...