LYING BASTARD

She has been asking me for days...

I still cannot figure out why but I think she really wants me to come...

I am stupid , yes I know...

I am not supposed to get involved with someone from work.

I am not supposed to get involved in some junior colleague.

I am married , and am not supposed to be taking interest in single girls.

Yet

I am stupid enough to have committed all three mistakes at the same time...

Its not that I am having an affair , its just a very odd friendship.

A friendship which now will slowly die

Because she has chosen another speciality and well in a couple of months she will but have forgot about the people and assholes she met here.

It is supposed to be the farewell. And I am supposed to attend.

Yet I lie to her , and to myself as I lie to everyone else to find a reason not to go...

I am not going on any trip...

but I don't have the courage ..

the courage to tell her ...

that I am BROKE...

I am broke financially
I am broke emotionally
I am broke physically
I am broke mentally

and

I am a lying bastard...