IDIOT

I am not sure what to think of myself. 

Whether I am an idiot or a lonely heart or just deep down a ridiculously big flirt. 

It is strange but I usually don't talk much to the people of the opposite gender. But once every few years I find interest in a person whom I am in-resistibly attracted to often with extremely disappointing results.

It happened now once again and I find myself in a silly situation where my heart and my mind seem to be pulling me in opposite directions. 

What can I do now?

She once hinted her interest in me ... but my confusion led me to think and think and think about her but not do anything about it...

Now she told me although indirectly that she is no longer interested in me.....

and it really breaks my heart and makes me feel sad...

Am not sure why ?

Was I horny ? Am I lonely ? Was it just a crush ? Was it something else?

Am I so over-worked or am I just using this as an excuse?

I have no idea ...

Am seriously and totally devastated by this turn of events and I hate myself for once again allowing myself to be drawn in by someone from the opposite gender...

There can be no friendship between a man and a woman....sadly